you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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