it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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