I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
