I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
