so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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