some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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