Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize