I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
