Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
