therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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