just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
