i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
