Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize