there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
