I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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