Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
