Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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