wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
