dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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