ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
There r osticjed everywhere
Found your dick twin last night
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
