WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
someone owes me an orgasm
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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