Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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