sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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