never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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