I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
