Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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