did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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