the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
