What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
