He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
