i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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