yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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