Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
