Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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