We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
