Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize