my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
