i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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