Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I will be naked everywhere
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
