dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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