fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
