Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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