this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
