About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
