honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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