Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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