I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
