You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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