i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
