a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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