i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
