If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I could fuck to npr.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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