She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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