I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
