Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
