also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize