and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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