Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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