Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
