That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
