I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
