he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
do nipples grow back?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
